In the Dreams

If she only knew of some writing, that was never sent
Of a dream of adoption, who's truth is not bent

If she only knew that my hell comment was sarcastic
My friend and I used to use it, the one I destroyed in public

If she only knew how scared I've been these past two nights
When I cried in prayer, and shivered with fright

If she only knew that my new drugs were not such a great negative
Yesterday's music and running was both joyously positive


She knows she can have me whenever she pleases
I'm her favourite cuddly kitten, who she sometimes teases
Her heavy weight of intelligence, that's mind boggling in the extreme
Makes her incomparable, and forever in this ghosts dreams


If she only knew that when I read today's news
My body packed itself up and went for a snooze
Falling to the right in faint, needing to give her a peck
If she was there my head would have rested gently in her long neck

If she only knew of just how suicidal I've been
That she never really had to treat me so mean
So what if I hurt her in much the same horrific way
She is smarter, shouldn't have deliberately made this boy pay

If she only knew of how I lied back in my car
Letting my body shake in spasms looking like a galah
Wanting to die right there, and go straight to the demon
Three times she's destroyed me, maybe she just got even

If she only knew of just how quickly I snapped out of it
Remembering her great qualities, of how she was my best fit
Doing her upmost to steer me away from the bad lies of the Qur'an
And developing my mind with new identities, of which I'm a great fan


She knows she can have me whenever she pleases
I'm her favourite cuddly kitten, who she sometimes teases
Her heavy weight of intelligence, that's mind boggling in the extreme
Makes her incomparable, and forever in this ghosts dreams


Four hours post fainting and it wouldn't be bad to fry
But I know that deep down I don't really want to die
And knowledge can be bad, it can inspire great sadness
No surprise that we've both hurt enough to wish we were heartless

But my heart will go on, it will live forever inside you
And I hope I later feel happy, when I remember that is true
Because nobody can match your sheer emotional genius
When rival writers read your work they are sure to be furious

Except for this writer, who will still admire from afar
Enjoying poetic words of wisdom from humanities truly great star
Inspiring my own writing, ideas for my own wonderful book
Dear fellow animal, you'll always be the Queen of my rook


She knows she can have me whenever she pleases
I'm her favourite cuddly kitten, who she sometimes teases
Her heavy weight of intelligence, that's mind boggling in the extreme
Makes her incomparable, and forever in this ghosts dreams


By Sundance Thomas, Copyright 2010