A Skeptic’s Journey Through Grief

As a physician with a strong science background, I used to regard all things spiritual with a jaded eye—until the recent suicide of my young son, Erik. Since then, my life has been cleaved into two parts: The Before and The After, The Bliss and The Dark Despair.

Everyone deals with grief differently. I heal best by journaling my thoughts in a way that helps others. So once I was able to wipe away my tears and crawl out of bed. At first, I shared my grief, pouring my broken heart onto every page. I thought my son had been ripped from my arms forever, but soon, Erik began to challenge that belief by making his presence known to friends and family through smells, touch, apparitions, conversation, and mischievous pranks. These events defied explanation. After all, science taught me that the soul does not survive death and that nonsensical notions like clairvoyance, the afterlife, and reincarnation belong to the domain of New Age freaks and unscrupulous gypsies hunched over crystal balls.

My first reaction was to pour myself into hundreds of books, because not only was I determined to find out if my son was really alive in some other dimension, I needed scientific proof for it. What I discovered was no short of amazing. For one, I came to understand why I was a skeptic to begin with.
Over the past two millennia, humankind advanced intellectually but not spiritually. Spiritual teachers like Jesus taught us about the afterlife and our oneness with each other and a Higher Power, yet some reinterpreted these teachings to fit their own needs, creating organized religions with the power to oppress, control and bilk money from the masses. Some religious leaders led us to believe that only they were privy to universal truths. Many followers were punished, even killed, for discussing spiritual subjects not sanctioned by the church.

During the 17th century, a new religion takes its throne: materialistic science. For all beliefs about life and the universe, science became the undisputed authority and scientists, the new priests. Science taught us that reality is only that which can be discerned by the five senses. The result: God became superfluous, and humankind plunged into spiritual bankruptcy.

Enter quantum science, and the pendulum swings once again. Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle suggests that our consciousness collapses waves into particles, thus thought creates reality. We now know that the universe is not a huge vacuum with a few celestial bodies scattered here and there; it’s teaming with energy from which all matter is created. The quantum entanglement theory suggests that we’re all connected and our actions and thoughts affect everything in the universe. Even cell biologists believe consciousness affects DNA rather than the other way around. In short, theoretical physicists are on the verge of defining all that airy-fairy stuff in quantum terms.

Of course, science, in its current state, cannot explain everything, but this does not mean there is no explanation. In his book, My Big TOE (Theory of Everything,) Physicist, Thomas Campbell, likens us to our intestinal bacteria. They dwell in a damp and unsavory darkness. From this limited perspective, the bread we swallow is manna from Heaven. They’re oblivious to the production and distribution of wheat, the manufacturing and marketing of bread and the global economics involved. Yet all of this is very real indeed, and it affects the entire colony profoundly. I propose that, as is the case with our intestinal bacteria, there is more to our reality than we can perceive or even create the language to describe.

Once I felt comfortable with the scientific basis for psychic phenomena, I enlisted highly regarded mediums to communicate with my son. Of course the Doubting Thomas in me warned me that I was crazy for doing so, but the longing to find comfort that only certain answers could provide transcended all sanity. The personality channeled was clearly him: his humor, his favorite phrases, even his cursing all came across. In fact, through the mediums, Erik shared information that no one else could have known. So, what started as a desperate attempt of a mother to reach her deceased son became a miraculous journey unto itself. This new journey propelled me out of grief and into the light.

In subsequent channeling sessions, I asked Erik about the nature of death and the afterlife as well as hundreds of other questions that have piqued the curiosity of many for centuries. I also asked questions that blog members submitted about their own departed loved ones and personal life issues. If he doesn’t have the answers, he always finds someone who does. After all, he doesn’t claim omniscience.

My journey has connected me with remarkable, highly enlightened spirits from whom I’ve received more than I’ve given. For Erik, the blog has become a platform to help others, not only by providing answers to their questions, but by bringing forth their deceased loved ones or visiting them personally. Several readers have experienced such visits, one as far away as Ireland.

Through his unique perspective from the afterlife, Erik provides insight and comfort to many, finding the fulfillment that eluded him in life on the earthly plane. Although his death has left a permanent hole in my heart, it has also ushered me into a new kind of light. It has opened my eyes and my mind and has given my son a life full of purpose and meaning. For this, I am eternally grateful.

By Eisa Medhus, M.D.

How to Deal With Personal Death Experiences