Though I did not have any real connection in what ever way to this country I always felt a strange emptiness whenever I came across something Irish. Every last bit of Irish spirit I began to inhale desperately trying to fill up that hole in my soul. It was never enough and I was beginning to feel emptier by the day. Something had to change. I had told me that countless times before but never acted.
|"Ireland Standing Stones"|
Though I was able to stay with a couch surfer for the first week until the last things about my apartment were set, my first days in Ireland felt unexpectedly strange. Was I expecting too much of my new home? Did I idealize? Time will tell, I thought.
More days passed, months passed and I was establishing a new life. New flat, new job, new friends. Life felt better again, but although I felt happy, something was still missing. Something. I just couldn't tell what it was and wished for a change all over again. Ask and you shall receive they say. Be careful what you wish for they say. I never would've imagined that to be true in the way it would be soon.
One night we all went out to that pub at the cliffs along some rocks that looked like a miniaturized Stonehenge. Sat there for hours, drinking, laughing, having a great time. When we left, daylight almost broke through again. I stopped at the Stonehenge, thinking about that new life. It finally seemed to be everything I expected it to be after all. Although I was really happy, that little something was still missing. I sat down letting my mind go blank, just enjoying the view on top of the cliff, thinking about everything and nothing. That’s when it happened. I wasn’t paying attention, so it took me a while to notice the strange noise behind me, I turned around and there she was. I had never seen anyone like her before. She looked normal at first but there was this power. Like her pure presence would even make nature obey her. It was overwhelming.
She just stood there and watched. Making neither sound nor movement. Trying to hide the first shock, I attempted to start a conversation. “Good morning. What brings you here so early?” Neither answer, nor movement. When I looked away and smiled and then looked again moments later, she was gone. "Less beer, Sam. Not good for you", I thought, stood up, heading home.
Days had passed and I didn't see her again, although I passed along the rocks daily hoping to solve the mystery of my early morning encounter. After all this time I began to doubt even stronger that she was real and I could feel the emptiness in my chest again.
One day, all hope seemed lost, I went down just to have some private time, enjoying the view of the cliffs again. The peace around here was the best after a long day of work. There was a certain peace in the waves and the wind. Sitting on the border to the abyss so high over the sea helped to clear the mind. I remembered the feeling when I saw her. That one beneath the shock. What was it about her that was so fascinating? In midst of my thoughts I heard a voice: "Rough day?" I turned my head and for a second I couldn’t breath, my heart stopped one beat. There she was again. I tried to make my voice sound calm and secure. I failed miserably. “Yeah, sort of”, I answered. She was as beautiful, as I remembered, although dressed differently this time. That stunning dark red dress of our first encounter had changed into genuine jeans, a black top with some Gaelic words on it and a light jacket. Plus there was one thing I hadn’t seen last time. She had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. A color like a combination of brown and golden yellow made them look like honey.
After a silent moment the conversation broke easy. She just sat down next to me and we started talking. She asked about my reasons to come to Ireland, what I was up to, regular small talk really. Difference simply was, that there weren’t any uncomfortable silences. There was one other thing I noticed later in the conversation. Her voice sounded somehow very elegant, very hypnotizing, feeling like liquid silk.
When I was looking down on my watch, it was nearly 7 am. “Did we really talk all night now?” I was in shock. “It appears so”, she said. I had to leave and go to work but it hurt. She was like a drug to me and I didn't want that flash to end.
In the coming days I spent almost every spare minute at the monument. She appeared in shorter and shorter periods and our conversations became deeper with every single talk. I felt closer to her every time and it felt like that “something” I was missing was finally found.
It was in the morning after talking all night yet again when she suddenly moved closer and leaned on my shoulder like she was freezing. Quite the contrary it was. She felt really hot. “Are you ok? You’re feeling a little feverish”, I asked. “No need to worry. I’m perfectly fine”, she said. She looked up and our eyes met. When I was looking deeply into her eyes the color seemed to become alive. I was just going to say something about it when she kissed me. First slowly and hesitating, then more and more passionate and demanding. Ambrosia must taste like ash, I thought before my I couldn't think anymore.
After that, it was obvious that our relationship was more then friendly. She obviously felt the same towards me, as I did towards her. Nonetheless there was still a part of her that remained mysteriously divine and untouchable.
One day during a kiss her hug became more intense, uncomfortably close and I heard a silent groan escape her throat. Like from an animal. I stiffened for a second what made her loosen her grip and opening her eyes in shock. Took her a minute to say something but it was just a quick goodbye and she was gone.
Confused I stayed there for a while trying to understand what just happened before heading home and then to work. I was unable to concentrate all day. What was that last night? What happened?
The next day she did appear, but she seemed very distant. It took a while until the seal broke. Her skin was pale white and always hot, she spoke like from another century and in her divine appearance there was an unexplainable strength and power. I had heard some story but I didn't really consider them seriously. It just couldn't be, right? Just a country side myth, right? I mean, this can not be real! But there were so many little things. It like if you know what to look for, it's easy to put your finger on it. Many little details about the stories she told me, so many little hints and expressions made sense in a whole different way now. I tried to speak that ridiculous theory as diplomatic as I could, but still not missing the point. It made her leave instantly.
Months later after daily journeys to the monument with no appearance form her I almost gave up hope again. Then the next day when I went there, she was already waiting for me.
After a while of complete silence, she broke the seal and we talked about, what she was and what that meant. I figured her to a vampire but that was far beyond. She was something like a vampire goddess. The first one of a royal bloodline. Her abilities far beyond those of normal vampires plus she was able to survive in sunlight, although it weakened her when she stayed out too long.
We lived along this way for a while. A fragile little human and a vampire goddess. There were some incidents with some enemies of hers but that once car accident in which I was pulled in by the fault of some drunk, I asked her to make me as she was. I begged her, told her I couldn't take the thought of losing her. She should reject that wish for months. Until...
It was a normal day until that afternoon. I was on my way to the pub when that guy ran out of the door directly towards me. Before I could move I felt a sudden hit throwing me to the ground followed by a burning in my chest. I touched the burning spot and when I looked at my hand I was dark red. Seconds later I blacked out.
When I woke up, I was in a big room, all wooden, beautifully decorated, warm light glowing dimly, a luxurious painting on the wall of some hunting action with a huge villa in the background. I examined my chest again. It was bandaged thick. When I tried to stand up, I was forced back down by a very dominant black wall before my eyes. A while later a girl came in putting some food and a drink beside my bed. After I ate a little bit, I went back to sleep.
When I woke up this time, she sat beside me. I looked at her and she smiled. God how did I love it when she smiled. It was one of these smiles which make your heart burst. She told me what happened and that it was really close for me. My answer was the repeated request to turn me, so a bullet wouldn't stop me anymore. At least not for that long. She went silent again; I could see her thoughts racing behind her eyes. Then she started again, what this life means and that it wouldn't be the same for me as it is for her, because I was just turned and not pureblood. Some of her abilities would be "copied", others will just develop themselves. Furthermore I wouldn't be able to see my friends and family again. Or at least for some time until I learned how to control myself. I told her I could live with all that, as long as I did not have to leave her side ever again. She said nothing. I could see her eyes turning black before she leaned down, pressing her lips against my neck. It felt like a kiss first, until that sudden electric shock and a piercing pain. I wanted to scream, but was unable to even breath.
When she looked down to my face I was paralyzed in pain, hardly able to move. She bit her wrist and held it down. I could see the blood gushing out of it and instinctively I tried to reach out for it. She held her arm down and her wrist onto my mouth. Her blood tasted like liquid fire. I managed to hold on to her arm and pressed it closer to my lips. That taste was indescribable. It started to burn from the center of my body until I felt like I was on fire, although it didn’t hurt. I could feel a tingly feeling on my chest, the room suddenly seemed to be enlightened, I felt a sudden strength building up in my body. When I let go and looked at her, she still was in ecstasy. Then she looked down at me and said "Well, how do you feel?" I couldn't answer at first. I licked of the rest of the blood around my mouth and stood up. “Alive, finally”. This time getting up was easy. With nothing holding me back.
It took me a while to gain control over my new abilities, but she was a brilliant teacher. Every time, when I was disappointed because I couldn't do something I tried to, she just said "You're doing great. You learn very fast. Let's just keep working." After a while I had almost complete control and challenged her more and more until we were almost even.
Life from then on was like a dream. Although I was just a higher level vampire who could go out in sunlight, which was like she predicted, we lead the clan to many battles over the coming years. I was finally accepted a part of the clan and as their general.
After a battle with a new clan raging on our lands we had lost a great many of our fellow vampires and were forced to leave Ireland. She couldn't bare the thought of leaving her land, but if we hadn't left, all those who were loyal to us would've been slaughtered for nothing. So we got on her ship, and traveled to the mainland. After a while in France and some time in Italy we traveled to Switzerland and ended up back in Zurich which we are enjoying at this time in all its glory, living just as luxurious as before, just accustomed to the present age. Carefully avoiding suspicions.
Here I was after all these years back in Zurich. The town being almost the same, but me? Well, I have changed from an insignificant maggot into a god among insects.
Sam Bockstette, Copyright 2011